From Grandma

Stephanie, marriage is hard. It’s not fun; it’s not a game you get to play. You don’t get to dress up and play house and live happily ever after. Everything you probably assume about marriage, let me tell you right now, is wrong.

People these days are ridiculous. Celebrities getting married and divorced over and over, like it’s no big deal. If you’re not going to mean it, don’t get married. If you’re going to break up in a year, don’t get married. That’s what dating is for. Because let me tell you, marriage is not what you think. Marriage is not about love, is not about finding ‘the one,’ and is not about being with someone because they make you happy. Marriage is a commitment. That, is the first problem with society. Oh we love each other; we’re going to be together forever. Wrong! Do you know how many people are on this earth? How many billions? And you think you found the one single person that was meant for you sitting next to you in your college lecture or work cubicle? This idea of the ‘one’ is what corrupts marriage. People get married, then decided they don’t love each other anymore, or not as much, or they find someone that makes them happier. Bam, divorce. Unless you meet every single person of the earth’s billions, it’s impossible that you find the single best person for you on this earth. Love is hormones; it’s a feeling that will most likely change at some point. And it has absolutely nothing to do with marriage.

Do you know what a vow means? It’s a solemn promise, an oath. You make a solemn promise when you get married, to be together until death, no matter what. That’s another problem. People just throw these words around like they mean nothing. Marriage is a legal, binding contract. Because people take these verbal promises for granted, they make it a legal contract documented on paper. And people still mess it up!

You’re not ending up divorced 5 times like you’re mother. You’re going to be like me, married for 55 years to one man, from an arranged marriage. You learn to live with each other. You learn to ‘love’ one another. Divorce is not an option. You end up married to this man, or not at all. Divorcees are liars; your mother is a liar. She broke one of the most solemn promises humans can make. More than once at that. No, no my dear. Not you. No granddaughter of mine will end up a liar.

-Grandma